Somebody has to ask the hard questions about a snow cone with a better publicist. I've had this board up for two years. The string is real yarn. The claims are not verified. Exhibits below.

Exhibit A — "Rainbow" is never actually one flavor. It's red, blue, and yellow syrup poured in the same three spots every time. Nobody has ever asked for a fourth color. Why.

Exhibit B — The ice is "shaved," never "shaven." Grammar-wise, this should bother more people than it does.

Exhibit C — Li hing mui powder shows up on the rim of the cup like it wasn't invited but came anyway. It always improves things. This is suspicious.

Exhibit D — Sweet condensed milk on top, called "snow cap." No cap involved. No snow involved, technically. Follow the money.

Exhibit E — The ice block always melts exactly as fast as you're eating it, never faster. Coincidence, or does the ice know something.

Exhibit F — Mochi balls at the bottom. Nobody remembers ordering them. They were always going to be there.