|
Local Ceiling Fan Declared "Menacing" by Entire Wall Population
Residents report the fan has "looked at them wrong" for going on three years. No injuries. Vigilance remains high.
Moth Population Up 40%, Gazette Staff "Cautiously Thrilled"
Sources close to the porch light describe the mood as "finally, some good news."
|
Screen Door Left Open Overnight, Editorial Board Calls It "A Gift"
Unconfirmed reports of a brief, glorious migration to the kitchen. No comment from the kitchen.
Human Spotted Talking to Lava Lamp, Gazette Investigates
Full report pending. Early findings suggest the lamp had nothing useful to say, which tracks.
|