Conducted by the Flipdingo Census Bureau (one person with a clipboard and a flashlight). Enumeration was challenging due to: cryptids who don't answer doors, geckos who answer doors enthusiastically but can't write, and one mongoose who stared at the enumerator until they moved on.
| Category | Count | Enumeration Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Humans (confirmed) | 3 | Includes the census taker. Self-reported. Two declined to participate. |
| Humans (unconfirmed) | 12 | Voices heard from inside houses. Could be radios. Could be Uncle Static. |
| Geckos (staff) | 7 | Per HR records. Two Toes counted as one individual despite name change history. |
| Geckos (freelance) | 40+ | Visible on walls. Refuse to fill out forms. The Gazette staff claims they're "consultants." |
| Menehune (union members) | 42 | Per Local #42 records. Night-shift only. Never seen during enumeration hours. |
| Mongooses (parking lot) | 1 | Spot #4. Responded to census with a stare. Stare counted as response. |
| Tiki Mugs (sentient?) | 12 | 6 in museum. 6 in adoption center. The Grump was uncooperative. |
| Rubber Ducks | 200 | Annual regatta participants. Population stable. Replacement rate: 3/year (the ditch claims some). |
| Cryptids (classified) | 5 | Kona Kraken, Uncle Static, Torch Widow, Parking Lot Mongoose (counted above), and one filed as "pending verification." |
| Vampires | 1 | Desmond. Runs the shave ice stand. Counted at night per vampire census protocol. |
| Coconuts (registered) | 12,403 | Per Coconut Registry. Enumeration ongoing. New coconuts daily. |
| Generators (named) | 1 | Kevin. Counted as infrastructure but has opinions. |
| TOTAL (approximate) | ~12,684 | Margin of error: ± the island itself. Census is ongoing. Probably forever. |