๐ŸŒด TIKI HQ INTRANET PORTAL v2.1 ๐Ÿ“… 2003 ยท Corporate Intranet Age โ€” part of the flipdingo.com time machine

Tiki HQ

Intranet » Facilities » Departments  |  Last synced: today, probably

Every mug on this island reports somewhere. This is where. Six departments, one org chart, zero HR complaints (the carvings can't file paperwork, they can only judge).

Founded on a Tuesday, for reasons nobody wrote down. HQ runs on trade winds, citronella, and a generator named Kevin who works exactly when he feels like it.

Mug Assembly
Forty-one molds, three colors of glaze, one guy named Duane who insists the tusks go on last.
Umbrella Compliance
Every drink umbrella is inspected for structural integrity and correct jaunt angle before deployment.
Volcano Relations
Maintains a respectful, non-litigious relationship with the nearest volcano. So far, so good.
Torch Logistics
Six hundred bamboo torches, rotated nightly, none of them ever actually lit near the paperwork.
Coconut Intake
Receiving dock for incoming coconuts. Rejects anything that doesn't sound right when shaken.
Legacy Carvings
The old tikis. Nobody's fired them. Nobody's sure they could.